Looking inside

Inner truth is tricky stuff
It’s like trying to read your own future
In leaves, or cards
You interpret things the way you want
But at the risk of telling myself
What I want to hear
I’ll take a shot at it
And try to be honest about the truth
Okay, start with what we know:
I’m an introvert
I love being left to my own devices
Alone to think my own thoughts
Never having to censor myself or
Watch what I say so as not to
Light fires I don’t want to fight
Maybe we all do this
I’m creative, too, and never happier
Than when I am making something
From raw materials, or nothing at all
Out of my head, out of my mind
Yet my sanest moments are purely creative
The word Wicca, apparently, comes from
Roots that mean to bend or move
That’s a little factoid that has lodged itself
In my mind because that’s what
I imagine that I do when I create
Bend the Universe to my will
Make something that nobody has
Ever had before and that changes
Something, somewhere, somehow

Tool box stuff

A member of the writers group, Cindy, donated a couple copies of The I Ching for Writers by Sarah Jane Sloane, which is very cool. It's a good tool to have around for inspiration, but also just to improve your chops. It's good exercise to write something other than what you feel driven to write. Write from a purely intellectual place, and then get excited about that. Write from a voice you've never imagined using, like an old man or a child. Building chops. It's been really fun and interesting, and taking the exercises seriously will ultimately make me a better writer. That's a good thing.

WTF is up with Valentine's Day?

The traffic around the mall yesterday was almost as bad as Christmas. So, the annual orgy of giving and spending and running up the credit cards wasn't enough for people? If ever there was a holiday for staying home and putting your money where your mouth is (hmm, THAT can be taken more than a few ways), it's this one. I guess I must have missed a memo somewhere.

And this morning, I'm solitary on the couch with a box of tissues, some tea and a whole array of cold remedies before me. Maybe I'm not jaded, maybe it's just snot.

Back to the business of getting through the day

It's just been busy busy busy here, nothing particularly creative going on. Well, there's always something creative going on, but I do have to keep some things to myself and let them percolate.

I've had some time to spend with my sister lately, and that's been remarkable. Our brains really are tuned to the same station a lot of the time. In fact, it's scary how often we discover that we're thinking each other's thoughts. Scary and great. DNA is funny stuff, you know?

More to come about that... eventually... when I'm damn good and ready...

Distortiony goodness

And now we return to a subject that I was quite obsessed about back in 2009; learning to play the electric guitar. One of the songs that I was working on Saturday needs distortion, bass, drums, B3 and a really dirty slide. The distortion on my practice amp is really unappealing to my ears, really harsh and brittle. I want a creamier, more musical distortion, so Dean Farley suggested an Ibanez Tubescreamer distortion pedal (he says they're friendly, but I think he meant "idiot-proof," though he's too nice to say it). I picked one up cheap, and plugged it in... and... well... see, I'm just so not used to THAT response when I play guitar and I think it messes with my attack or something. It sounds like ass. My dad once told me that it didn't matter what you played if you played with confidence, and hopefully that's all I'm lacking at this point.

Otherwise, just keepin' on keepin' on. Writers group meets again Wednesday at 6 - can't wait!

A quiet and guitary morning

Actually sat down and played some guitar this morning, wonder of wonders. I have about... 5 sets of lyrics written that need music, and I think I cracked three of them. It will be interesting to see what happens with these wintery songs.

It is bloody cold this morning, my gods... supposed to be even colder tomorrow. Iowa really sucks sometimes. It's so cold that it's dangerous to expose your skin for even a couple minutes. I guess I've inherited that sort of sick Iowa pride:

Hey, Winter, is that all you got? Come on! Bring it!

Hey, look what I lived through!

Yeah. We can be sooooooooo stupid. Whatever, it feels good to sit on the couch where it's... um... kinda warm though not exactly toasty, and make stuff up.

Back to it

Let's just say I've given myself some time to reflect upon the hard work I did a few weeks ago, assessing what I love and what I'm good at, listing the things I really don't want to do ever again (add to that original list scraping ice off my windshield, though that's probably not going away for a while). We won't say that I got too distracted by life, the universe and everything to actually bother to continue on this path. Diplomacy to self; it's an art.

There are some things I want to try, and I have no clue about whether they'll work. Whatever. I am ready to throw some things out there and see what sticks. I hesitate to reveal my hand at this point, simply because the couple of things I am most focused on are not completely ready yet, though now that I am focused, it won't take long.

Alright, rolling up my sleeves, rubbing my hands together rapidly, taking a deep breath...